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Some lyric reviewing?

Discussion in 'Band promotion & new album releases' started by Bumblefly, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. Bumblefly

    BumbleflyMember Forum Member




    Sep 1, 2013
    Hello. I have a little pet project currently composed of me. The United States of Apathy is the name of the band. Now I have always loved music, but was never good at writing lyrics. I have, however wrote two songs, and would like you awesome folks to view review them. First one is titled Help Me.

    Born into this world into an 4x4 cage. Born just to be a peice in mankinds sick little game. Mother killed before my eyes, cries pierce my mind. Surely there must be more to life than this? Disected while still living you sick little bastard. Why do you disregard it as if I don't matter. Born to be tortured. Poked with needles while they laugh. They call is necessary as my head is sawed in half. Is this all there is to be? Must I be blind for mankinds greed. Why am I hurt when I have done nothing wrong? Does my life not matter? Is my flowing blood less red? Are my cries not heard? Is my love not missed? Please make my life more than this

    The next one is Collateral Damage.

    Spoken: (boy) I am the cry in the middle of the night (girl) I just lost my mum (woman) I am the widow you want to forget (man) I was the husband of an innocent wife
    (unison) I am collateral damage (X5)
    (at the beginning of the fifth) Screamed) STOP THIS MADNESS!!

    Music/vocals start) Stop the senseless killing of innocent civilians (singer two) Not every Muslim is a terrorist (No.1) Their mangled bodies litter the streets (No.2) Not every Arab is a murderer (No.1) The media justifies it by painting the Arab race as Anti-Amarican militants out to usher the world into Shar'ai Law. (No.2, more drawn out) not every brown man is out to get you (No.1) Meanwhile we are bombing cities as the U.S. "patriots" are cheering them on. Cheering on the death of their fellow man. We have to stop this senseless slaughter.

    Yes, they are short, but I am hoping to write some longer ones. Song 2 is really fast. I have some more I may finish one day, but these are completed.