No apocalypse

butcher · May 21, 2011

Damn

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/ma ... aterialise

Nobody ↑ :
Christian doomsday prophet Harold Camping looks likely to be less than rapturous after his prediction that the world would end on Saturday failed to materialise.

The 89-year-old Californian preacher had prophesied that the Rapture would begin at 6pm in each of the world's time zones, with those "saved" by Jesus ascending to heaven and the non-believers being wiped out by an earthquake rolling from city to city across the planet.

But as the deadline for the Apocalypse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia, it became apparent that Camping's prediction of the end of the world was to end not with a bang but with a whimper.

Only on Twitter did the supposed Armageddon sweep the world, with users expressing their mock disappointment at the lack of dead people rising from their graves.

New Zealander Daniel Boerman tweeted: "I'm from New Zealand, it is 6:06PM, the world has NOT ended. No earthquakes here, all waiting for the rapture can relax for now. #Rapture"

In Australia, Jon Gall of Melbourne was unimpressed by the lack of fire and brimstone. He tweeted: "#Rapture time here in Melbourne. A rather quiet sort of rapture if you ask me.

"Well we have had the #Rapture going for 50 minutes now. So far it hasn't interrupted my fish & chips and glass of stout."

In Brisbane, KillaJeules, was similarly disappointed by the lack of a Hollywood blockbuster ending: "So it's 6:37pm here in Brisbane, Australia. No earthquakes. No beaming up of Christians. No zombie apocalypse. No surprises haha."

Camping, a retired civil engineer, has built a multimillion-dollar, non-profit ministry based on his apocalyptic predictions. He previously predicted that the world would end in 1994. It is difficult to know how many of his followers took his latest prophecy seriously, though his Family Radio Worldwide reaches millions of listeners in the US and around the world.

Some have reportedly sold all their possessions and taken to the streets to warn people to prepare for the second coming of Jesus. In recent weeks, callers to Christian radio stations in the US have debated what to do about non-believing friends and neighbours who will be left behind to endure the wrath of God.

But it looks like it will be atheists and other skeptics celebrating this weekend, with tongue-in-cheek doomsday parties planned across the US.

TV scientist Professor Brian Cox summed up the mood of the non-believers. He tweeted: "I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid."

But Kieran Healy had a slightly more comforting message for those disappointed at not joining Jesus: "I guess on Sunday when the #Rapture people feel really upset, we can't console them by saying 'Cheer up, it's not the end of the world.'"
Click to expand...

So, we wait on fellow Christian soldiers, could be any day now...
Are you Rapture Ready?

Keep yr eyes peeled for gay jews, as one of them is the antichrist apparently...

SOADcore · May 21, 2011

butcher said:

Damn

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/ma ... aterialise

Nobody ↑ :
Christian doomsday prophet Harold Camping looks likely to be less than rapturous after his prediction that the world would end on Saturday failed to materialise.

The 89-year-old Californian preacher had prophesied that the Rapture would begin at 6pm in each of the world's time zones, with those "saved" by Jesus ascending to heaven and the non-believers being wiped out by an earthquake rolling from city to city across the planet.

But as the deadline for the Apocalypse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia, it became apparent that Camping's prediction of the end of the world was to end not with a bang but with a whimper.

Only on Twitter did the supposed Armageddon sweep the world, with users expressing their mock disappointment at the lack of dead people rising from their graves.

New Zealander Daniel Boerman tweeted: "I'm from New Zealand, it is 6:06PM, the world has NOT ended. No earthquakes here, all waiting for the rapture can relax for now. #Rapture"

In Australia, Jon Gall of Melbourne was unimpressed by the lack of fire and brimstone. He tweeted: "#Rapture time here in Melbourne. A rather quiet sort of rapture if you ask me.

"Well we have had the #Rapture going for 50 minutes now. So far it hasn't interrupted my fish & chips and glass of stout."

In Brisbane, KillaJeules, was similarly disappointed by the lack of a Hollywood blockbuster ending: "So it's 6:37pm here in Brisbane, Australia. No earthquakes. No beaming up of Christians. No zombie apocalypse. No surprises haha."

Camping, a retired civil engineer, has built a multimillion-dollar, non-profit ministry based on his apocalyptic predictions. He previously predicted that the world would end in 1994. It is difficult to know how many of his followers took his latest prophecy seriously, though his Family Radio Worldwide reaches millions of listeners in the US and around the world.

Some have reportedly sold all their possessions and taken to the streets to warn people to prepare for the second coming of Jesus. In recent weeks, callers to Christian radio stations in the US have debated what to do about non-believing friends and neighbours who will be left behind to endure the wrath of God.

But it looks like it will be atheists and other skeptics celebrating this weekend, with tongue-in-cheek doomsday parties planned across the US.

TV scientist Professor Brian Cox summed up the mood of the non-believers. He tweeted: "I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid."

But Kieran Healy had a slightly more comforting message for those disappointed at not joining Jesus: "I guess on Sunday when the #Rapture people feel really upset, we can't console them by saying 'Cheer up, it's not the end of the world.'"
Click to expand...

So, we wait on fellow Christian soldiers, could be any day now...
Are you Rapture Ready?

Keep yr eyes peeled for gay jews, as one of them is the antichrist apparently...
Click to expand...

I was hoping for zombies

ungovernable · May 21, 2011

Does this means i can go outside of my bunker now ?

butcher · May 22, 2011

ungovernable said:
Does this means i can go outside of my bunker now ?
Click to expand...

only if you have yr tinfoil helmet on, Jesus ain't back but there are still Reptilians and Muslamic Ray Guns to worry about...

butcher · May 22, 2011

Nobody ↑ :
I was hoping for zombies
Click to expand...

'Prepare for a zombie apocalypse'

Nobody ↑ :
Just in case there weren't enough natural disasters or security threats in the United States, a Government health agency is advising people to prepare for a zombie apocalypse.

Apparently being ready for when the undead take to the streets in search of human flesh is perfect training for what to do if a hurricane or pandemic should strike.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, part of the United States Government's Department of Health and Human Services, has posted instructions on what to do should your brain be sought for a zombie's breakfast.

The guide is clearly intended to impart a serious message on how to survive real disasters, such as hurricanes and floods.

It predictably created an internet stir, which reportedly managed to partly crash the CDCP's website when tens of thousands went in search of zombie advice.

Tips on how to survive a zombie apocalypse include:

? Gathering together an emergency kit to survive for a few days before reaching a "zombie-free" camp; and

? Planning where and when to go should you be forced to flee your home if zombie hordes approach.

The CDC has even worked out what role it would play if confronted with an invasion of flesh-eaters.

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak," its website states.

"CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation."

The social media-based campaign even allows people to download a zombie survival email signature here.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/world/prepare- ... z1N5EoVWpN
Click to expand...

SOADcore · May 22, 2011

I saw that. They didn't put a shotgun on the list.

vAsSiLy77 · May 23, 2011

Repent your heathens and don't fear when we meet at the mailbox:
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

Nobody ↑ :
I saw that. They didn't put a shotgun on the list.
Click to expand...

See this:

Nobody ↑ :
Chapter 2: Weapons and Combat Techniques
The weapons at the average reader's disposal are discussed and weighed against the various threats that may be faced during confrontations with the undead. The M1 carbine and the machete, as portrayed on the cover of the book, as well as the crowbar, Samurai Katana, trench spike and Shaolin Spade, receive the strongest recommendation. The AK-47 is portrayed on a later edition.
Click to expand...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Zombie_Survival_Guide

Derek Danger · May 23, 2011

Damn. Now I'm gonna have to pay for that massive fucking party I had on Saturday night. I was hoping the rapture would kill all my debtors.

JackNegativity · May 23, 2011

Bummer.

butcher · May 24, 2011

don't worry, just a slight mix up in the date, sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Derek Danger · May 25, 2011

butcher said:
don't worry, just a slight mix up in the date, sorry for any inconvenience caused.
Click to expand...

The idiot should set it for five years from now. He'll be dead by then.

Bentheanarchist · Dec 31, 2011

Today is the end of the world; the end is near.

@narcho-Skinhooligan · Jan 1, 2012

Bentheanarchist said:
Today is the end of the world; the end is near.
Click to expand...

I am still crossing my fingers Ben, but Dec. 21 of this new year will be a dud just like all the end of the world predictions since times long forgotten. But a man can still dream. but on the upside I can laugh fucking hard at all the 2012 idiots. So I guess their is a silver lining after all.

butcher · Jan 15, 2012

People are making Rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow.

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Disclose - 2002 - Apocalypse Of Death (12'')

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Arming yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse

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