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Saw friend being abused...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by nodogs_nomasters, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. nodogs_nomasters

    nodogs_nomasters Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Jul 15, 2014
     United States
    This is a pretty heavy story. If descriptions of physical abuse bother you, maybe skip this one.
    Fucking lord. I just had the most chaotic, horrible night I've had in a very, very long time. I really need to vent it out, I don't how else I'm going to sleep tonight.
    I was hosting a chill little kickback at my place for my 21st birthday. There were about 7 or 8 of my buddies, including one particularly close friend (?? I don't know what to call him after what I saw tonight) who has been in a long term relationship with one of my best female friends for about 3 years. This guy can't handle his alcohol. Period. We'll call him Drunky Friend. He started getting crazy, punching walls. One guest got uncomfortable and left. Good idea.
    Drunky friend starts trying to wander outside. I attempted to hold him back, but this guy's an off season forest worker and I'm a 110 lb female. He got outside. Somebody went out to check on him after a minute or two and comes back in a panic, telling us that the fucking idiot stumbled to his car and DROVE OFF. He was WASTED when he walked out of the door a few minutes earlier. Couldn't even stand up straight. The party immediately ceases being fun. My brother, Drunky's Girlfriend, and I all dashed out to the parking lot. Yep. Gone. My next door neighbor saw him swerve away while she was taking the trash out, told us which way he went. We hopped in my car and anxiously looked all up and down that road. Nope.
    We returned to the house, still panicking. Nobody's even remotely having fun anymore. Suddenly, thank fuck, we get a call from him. By some miracle he made it back to his house. We decided that it would be safest to drop by his place and take his car keys for the evening, since he was obviously awake when he called us and was beyond incapable of handling his shit. Drunky's Girl, my brother, and I hop back into the car and make it to his place, completely fed up with his selfish bullshit.
    We walked into his room, took the keys, and accidentally woke him up. He starts rambling completely incoherent, psychedelic bullshit about pyramids, studying, and the letter L. My brother and I make it back to the car while Drunky's Girl attempted to calm him the fuck down so he wouldn't wander into the street (again) or wake his parents. Just as I was texting my friends back at the duplex that "we found him. Everything's okay. He won't be driving anymore tonight..." I notice that Drunky is GRABBING HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND BY THE NECK AND TRYING TO SHOVE HER DOWN TO THE GROUND WHILE SHE'S SCREAMING.
    Suddenly, I don't give a shit that I've been best friends with this guy for years. I don't care that I'm a tiny chick and this guy could fuck my shit up with one hand behind his back. I saw red. One minute, I was in the car, then I was charging at him screaming at the top of my lungs, "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT WAY YOU BASTARD-"
    My brother dodged over there and put Drunky McBastard into a headlock, wrestling to pry him off of her. Drunky was digging his nails into his girl's arm so hard that it left bruises and bloody scratches. He even swung at her a few times.
    I was losing it, still screaming. I think I kicked him but I'm not sure. The whole thing is a huge blur. I mostly remember wrapping my arms around Drunky's Girl and trying to pull her away. My brother had to tackle this abusive piece of shit to the ground, and the guy was still trying to go for her. She and I both locked ourselves in the car. My brother was still headlocking Drunky, but the fucker managed to crawl up to the car and was trying to break the window.
    FINALLY, Drunky's Dad comes rumbling out and manages to calm the shitfucker down.
    I was in shock as we drove away. We later noticed that she had red marks all over her neck because he was choking her so hard.
    I've been close with this guy for years; or so I thought. It just about ruined the whole night for everybody, especially his girl. Drunky's Girl is talking about breaking it off with him, and I hope she's strong enough to do it. I've been her buddy since middle school. She's such a sweet human being who deserves so much better. I have also been assaulted in relationships. I know what kind of hole it tears. I have some understanding of how she feels right now, and it only makes me more furious with Drunky that he would EVER, in ANY state of mind even consider that he has an inkling of a right to do that to her. I never want to see it happen to any of my loved ones ever again. I don't even think I want to see Drunky ever again. That friendship is over.
    I'm just glad we were there for her, and I'm glad my brother isn't one of those complacent shits who just sits and twiddles his thumbs while something like that goes down. I'm proud of him. He handled that fucker.
    Lately it seems like quite a few things in my life have been falling apart, but that was one of the worst examples. I can't be that guy's friend ever again, no matter how many adventures we shared in the past. We had a strong bond until I found out who he really was. Now I'll never see him the same. He talks a pretty talk of equality, anti-sexism, and love, but none of that means anything if he doesn't have the balls to live it.
     

  2. Havran

    Havran Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    Feb 22, 2012
     Czech Republic
    Damn...I don't even know what to say. How can people do something like that is beyond me.
    She's lucky that she has such good friends like you and your brother. I am proud of you two. It takes some balls to defend a person from somebody who is obviously pretty strong and drunk. We need more people like you.
    Hopefully she won't try to go back to him...
     
  3. nodogs_nomasters

    nodogs_nomasters Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Jul 15, 2014
     United States
    Thanks, Havran. I just snapped and flew into a blind rage when I saw that. When I was assualted in my last relationship there were about 4 or 5 people who just stood around while I was being shoved and screamed at. I vowed to myself that I would NEVER be one of those cowardly enablers. I guess I kept my vow so far, haha.
    I'm so glad that my brother was there, otherwise I woulda gotten pretty beat up. I only wish I was wearing my steel toed boots at the time :p
    She seems to be very seriously considering leaving. They're definitely not on good terms at all, which is to be expected. It's not helping that the abuser is not taking his actions very seriously. He even tried to justify it by whining about how he "feels smothered" and that we "overstepped boundaries". He should be on his knees begging everybody for forgiveness and seeking serious help to make sure this NEVER happens again under any circumstances. I mean, he drove drunk, endangered lives, ruined my birthday, broke my roommate's window, punched a hole in my living room wall, and, worst of all, attacked his loyal girlfriend of three years when she was trying to make sure he was safe, then he has the NERVE to even bring up HIS feelings?!!! To even IMPLY that we this was OUR fault?!
    I don't even know who this guy is anymore. It's amazing how quickly you can go from loving to loathing someone.
     
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