Hello strangers, my name is Joe. The main reason for me joining this site was to get some advise on what I could do in my current situation. I love punk rock and I love anarchy, but I dont feel like I'm really being a punk or an anarchist. About a month and a half ago I had a nervous breakdown and decided to live with some family members that could provide for me better than my mother was. Provide for me as in help me get a license, go to college, and get a job. But more and more everyday I want out. I'm in senior year and it's just aweful. I don't even want to finish high school. And I feel like college would be a waste of time and money. A regular job wouldn't be much better. I really just want to live where ever I please, spending my days free. But at the same time I feel really guilty. My family has gone through a lot, both emotionally and financially, to get me where I am now. I'm also afraid that I'll make the wrong choice. I don't know. Please give me some feedback
Man, Fuck what anyone else thinks, you don't have to be anything you don't want to be and if anyone pressurizes you into thinking that you aren't worthy unless blah blah blah, then fuck them! The main thing you have to realize is that you are a human and if you love Punk rock, you don't have to be an anarchist and if you are an anarchist, you don't have to be into Punk. I guess it's generally just certain types of people who listen to Punk are in it for the message and for the fun. I myself love the music which is what -since I was a kid- brought me to a few realizations. Allot of people have different ideas of what punk is supposed to be and what you're supposed to be like if you're into punk, but that's all bullshit! I think because it's a personal choice. Do what you want to do and what you feel right doing, that's the point, isn't it?!!
I did support anarchy before I got into punk rock and punk is the genre I was always looking for, so I feel attached to both. I think what I need to really get over is my fear of confrontation. When I was little sticking up for myself usually meant getting yelled at and/or hit, so I have this sort of subconscious block. What you said I do agree with and will have to keep in mind. Thanks for relying
Why you beating yourself up? It doesn't matter much, what you wear or what you listen to or what fucking lifestyle you're into. Nobody gives a fuck. Punk or yuppie we all go to the same place when we die - the ground. You could be a stupid 16 year old who buys all their clothes at Hot Topic and listens to Green Day n Shit. It still wouldn't be worth two shits in the grand scheme of shit. As for me, I'd say the stupid fucking "Ooooh yer jacket doesn't have enough patches!" crowd can suck my fat anarchist... But that's just me.
Technincally, you don`t owe your family anything. I don`t mean to sound like a brat, but you really don`t. I know what you mean, being a refugee myself. We moved to a totally new country, my mom had to go through a lot for us to be able to stay here. I feel bad when I don`t meet up to her expectations, but I really can`t force myself to do something I don`t want to. And you shouldn`t either. I tried forcing myself to finish school and that resulted in an anxiety disorder and I was totally isolated for about a year. Seriously, the only times I left the house was when I REALLY had to and that wasn`t very often. I`ve tried compromising with my family a lot, but you just end up losing yourself. I realized I was becoming exactly what my family wanted me to be one day though and I thought fuck it, I`m gonna do what I want from now on. You shouldn`t be scared of failing, its a part of life. And as for the looking like a punk thing, meh. If anyone gives you shit for not having a mohawk they`re not worth knowing. I don`t know what its like where you live but you should try going out sometimes, you`ll meet a lot of assholes and some nice people too probably. You sound like you just need a break though, as in neither work or shchool for a while until you feel better.
To be quite frank, quitting school and hopping fright trains, living from a dumbster and so on, doe.sn't make you more "punk" and "anarchist". Do what you feel like, but do it because it makes sense to you, not because you feel like you have to live up to a standart of what is "true".
Since you're already in your senior year, I think you might as well/should definitely finish it. Then you could take a long break, as long as you want to do whatever you feel like. That should give you enough time & space to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. And know this: there's no such thing as a perfect punk - if one existed, he wouldn't be punk.
oh thats almost philosophical. I think you`re on to something there. there is no such thing as a perfect human, if one existed, he wouldn`t be human. therefore, humans cannot exist in a perfect world. yeah i should go to bed
