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Kill Ur God.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by punkvampire18, Aug 24, 2012.

  1. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    Aug 10, 2012
     
    I dont believe in a god. I was born and raised mormon, and that fucking church turned me very very bitter towards any kind of a higher power. Being scared into thinking that the rapture could come any day and that crows will pluck out your eyes and maggots will devour your flesh really fucks with you when your a little kid
     
  2. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    Are you serious? Mormon? - interesting.
    No, like I've said before, "Fuck the church", they don't own the rights to god. They stole them.
     
  3. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    hahaha see thats where its hard for me, i was sooo fucked growning up as a child in that church, you wouldnt even believe the stories ive had. I was soo fucked up and have so much anger towards it, that its hard to distinguish the two. people have tired to get me to realize that before, its really hard for me to let go
     
  4. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    to me god=the church, and its hard for me to let that go
     
  5. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    No Fights, you're wrong. God not = church!

    But church = power, oppression, exploitation & greed!
     
  6. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    i know, its just hard for me to accept that and to let go of my anger, you know
     
  7. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    I do understand that. I've felt that same anger when I was growing up, also believing that church = god. And that if church = god, then god must = church, so I said fuck god. I know different now. Self-righteous fucking bible pushers trying to convert me to their beliefs, when they have no idea what the hell they're even talking about. Everytime you ask them a question they have to refer to a quote from the bible. :lmao:
    Don't let those bastards get you down. Like I said they don't have sole ownership of god. I'm definitely not a christian or even religious, but the christians should remember that they too were persecuted for their belief by the Romans - fucking hipocrits.
     
  8. shizyninja

    shizyninja Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Aug 27, 2012
     
    Sorry for the late response. I read the comments in a rush but work got busy and I didn't want to write a half ass response.


    I've read a little about achieving enlightenment through the psychedelic experience. Aldous Huxley (author of Brave New World) was notorious for his experiments with LSD and mind expansion. He's a really great writer about anti-fascism and people's roles in society. I definitely recommend him. The other guy is Timothy Leary, a writer and psychologist who conducted experiments with LSD at Harvard University. He became something of a cult hero during the 70's, which was when the "acid wave" hit America. My dad was a hippy back in his day and he's told me stories. He said it was common thing to go to school and see someone freaking out on acid during class or in the hallways. He told me it was everywhere. People in the street frying balls. Crazy shit.

    It was so big back then because nobody knew about the long term effects. So they dropped hits without caution. A lot of Timothy Leary's followers ended up fried out of their minds. Some of these people end up so bad that they have to kept away from their own shit or else they'd try to eat it.

    For a while I was very much into the concept of mind expansion. I did a lot of homework into the history of LSD and what the big thinkers had to say. Eventually I came across it and went to my favorite beach, Swami's. It was a bright sunny day. I took with me a drawing booklet with markers and a backpack. I found a spot somewhat removed from the rest of the big crowd and in front of section of people surfing. My homie said he gave me two big tabs. It was my first time so I didn't know exactly what to expect. I decided the best thing to do was eat one and if it felt good I'd take the other. But when I opened the foil wrapper it was just one big hit. I ended up taking the whole thing.

    I laid back against a big warm rock and just checked out the surf. I was really fucking excited about what to expect. About 30 minutes later I could feel the effects beginning to creep up on me. The waves looked extremely reflective and the small breaks on the shore looked like melted glass. Even the sand started to glow like gold. Then I saw a little crab run across the beach but when it stopped, it turned into a piece of drift wood. That's when I knew I was in the beginning stages of tripping balls. The sun felt great on my skin. It wrapped around me like a warm blanket. The surfers were beginning to look like bird-human creatures flying along these massive panes of liquid glass.

    I loved what I was feeling and I wanted to intensify the trip. Way back in high school a friend told me that drinking orange juice makes you trip mega balls because of the citric acid. I was doubtful but at the time I felt like anything was possible. But here was the thing, I was tripping harder by the second and while I felt completely safe on the beach, entering into the city might be dangerous. "The hell with it," I thought. I put on my shirt and just left my stuff on the sand. Walking felt more like floating as I looked for liquor store. I had glasses so I was safe. Paranoid thoughts went through my head like "what if my Art History professor runs into me and starts wanting to talk?" I made it to the liquor store and the first thing I saw was this major fucking hot babe just standing there smiling at me. It kinda took me for a shock. Then I realized it was a cardboard cut out for some beer advertisement. But still, she felt real in some way and it seemed strange to me how everyone just kept walking around her like it was no thing. I decided to play it cool myself and blend in. I bought a big bottle of Tropicana orange juice and headed out.

    Whether it's the citric acid or whatever, man, I'm telling you when I drank that OJ I immediately started tripping way harder. I knew I had to get back to the beach where I felt much freer. But instead of turning back around to Swami's, I walked all the way to the next beach. I stepped up on this big wooden viewing platform and just looked at all the beach goers doing their thing bellow. And that's what tripped me out. Everyone was doing their own thing. Some were tanning, others chased each other, foot ball, surfers walking around. It just amazed me that everyone was off to their own activity. At the time it just blew my mind.

    I went back down to the beach and walked along some huge cliff walls with houses at the very top. The ice plant growing down from the top seemed to cascade down forever like a waterfall made out of liquid emeralds. It was like never ending beauty. The cliffs themselves started to breach in and out like a living thing. I was peaking. The color green for some reason became the funniest thing I'd ever see. And every time I caught a glimpse of some leaves or any other plant I'd start giggling uncontrollably. It was a lot of fun.

    After walking for about a mile, I made it back to the spot I left before. I sat down and took out my notebook. I used my green highlighter which left glowing streaks. It was like drawing with precious stones. I filled up my whole notebook and set it down. The waves were looking amazing. So much perfect rhythm. I went to the top of a cliff for a better view that's when I had the psychedelic experience. The sun was exploding. It's rays were waving in every direction. It was so intense, I just couldn't handle it. The water was a ocean of melted diamonds mixed with gold, and surfers were riding these magnificent living things. Everything was beautiful and full of overwhelming cosmic energy. There was no violence within myself in that moment. I felt pure, a state in which I should always be. For the first time in my life, I was seeing the way the world truly is. Then suddenly, someone spoke to me.

    He seemed cool at first just making small talk about how great the beach looked. But little by little he let on that he knew I was tripping out. The guy was a pervert trying to take advantage of me tripping out which saddened me greatly. Here I was reveling in full brilliance of the universe, and suddenly something ugly appeared. The universe isn't all all beauty. When I looked at this guy who seemed pretty cool on the outside, but on the inside there was something twisted. I felt like I could see through him and saw a child molester. I was overcome with sadness. He kept trying to get me to leave with him which was disgusting. I told him peace and took off back down to the beach. Back down to my sanctuary. I was scarred, man. I took off running all the way back to the other beach. It didn't matter that I was out of shape or nothing. I just took off. And when I got there I felt safe. By then nightfall was coming down and people were lighting up bonfires. I was having a great time until I fucking stepped in a nail. Major bummer dude. Of all times! Somehow it got in my head to run back to the beach I came from. My mind was major tripping by this point. I ended up wandering the streets aimlessly for no reason at all.

    At this point it had been hours since I dropped the fry. The euphoric feeling was wearing off and I was getting a chemical hangover. Reality was starting to set in. If the cops patrolled down here and asked me some questions I'd be fucked. I needed to get out of there. When I got to my jeep it was the only car still in the lot. This isn't good. I really need to get the fuck out of here but am I good enough to drive? I wonder to myself. Right when I pushed in the clutch I got a massive cramp in leg. It was from all that running without stretching. Dude, it was so fucking gnarly I had to grab the muscles and could feel it fighting to tighten into a knot. The pain was excruciating! In the middle of all this I wondered if I was really having the worst cramp of my life or was just the fry making seem so? I was getting desperate, I needed to get the fuck out of there! Thankfully the cramp went away but I could still feel it lingering there.

    I started the jeep and took off. It felt weird driving and I really wished I wasn't. Then I got lost in my own city! I forgot how to get back to the freeway. "This isn't good!" I stopped at some street and got my brain together and then gave it another shot. I made to the freeway. Whoa! It was like flying through outer space! All these fucking lights were around me and it felt like I was going 500 mph. A diesel truck pulled up behind me and then i really started to trip. I saw a motel 6 sign and said fuck this. I pulled off and was so paranoid by this point that i drove past the hotel and into some neighborhood further down the road. I considered sleeping in the backseat but thought it better to walk down to the hotel in the end.

    The clerk looked at me all fucked up when I asked for a room, and I don't blame him. I looked like I was on drugs. When I got to my room, I locked the door and laid on the bed. FINALLY! I was safe! I ended up calling my girlfriend and telling her all about what had happened. While I recounted my tripped out tale, the ceiling was doing all kinds of weird shit. I asked her come over but her car was fucked up and she lived about an hour away from where I was at. Major bummer, man. I laid there for the rest of the night thinking back on the adventure I just had. I felt like I discovered a mystery is always around me. I finally knew what all those books about the psychedelic experience were talking about. But I also knew it was a limited experience that would end once I laid down to sleep. That was several years ago and I haven't fried since then and really I don't know if I ever will again. It was a great experience and I have no regrets. Still, I realize that a lot of what I experienced could have been just part of the trip. Who's know where the trip ends and authentic enlightenment begin? I never stopped searching for enlightenment but I think narcotic-enlightenment movement has some major flaws but also has a lot to teach us. It's dangerous stuff. That's my long story I hope I didn't bore you guys.
     
  9. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    Haha, no you didn't bore me. It's always a joy to read your writings, you definitely have a gift. I will reply to your story with some of my thoughts soon. But for now I just wanted to tell you this.
     
  10. shizyninja

    shizyninja Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Aug 27, 2012
     
    Spike,

    Thanks, man. By the time I was at the middle I was like, "oh, shit this is getting hella long." But it was something I had been meaning to get down in writing. I'm trying to get into the whole writing thing and I joined this forum to find people that are into the more counter culture style of writing. If you ever want to check out my book I can send you copy. Just contact me through here and I'll send you a book.

    ismaelggalvan@gmail.com
     
  11. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    you say hella too? hahaha it must be a california thing, but not anything south of bakersfield hahahaha
     
  12. shizyninja

    shizyninja Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Aug 27, 2012
     
    Fresno huh? I grew up in Madera from 5th to Junior year of high school. Since then I moved to San Diego and people would call me on it sometimes. Now I'm living in Okinawa and nobody says that shit.
     
  13. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    Okinawa? They still have airforce bases there? :lmao:
    I used to do this karate style from Okinawa and it's funny, although I've never been there I kind of feel a connection to that place :D
     
  14. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    hahahaa i grew up in san diego until i was in 7th grade then moved up here!
     
  15. THEBLACKNOVA

    THEBLACKNOVA Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    Aug 11, 2011
     Mexico
    [​IMG]

    HAHA
     
  16. morethanfights

    morethanfights Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH exactly
     
  17. THEBLACKNOVA

    THEBLACKNOVA Experienced Member Experienced member Forum Member


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     Mexico
    HAHA I remember this poster from Oakland, the Nov 2 General Strike...

    [​IMG]

    I still think it's awesome HAHA
     
  18. Spike one of many

    Spike one of many Experienced Member Uploader Experienced member Forum Member


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    @shizyninja
    I've read "The Doors of Perception". Wasn't it mescalin he was experimenting with? Similar effects though. Well sounds like you had a pretty solid trip, that is until you ran into that creepy dude :ecouteurs: and then still stepped onto a nail :ecouteurs: . I had a good laugh about that cardboard chick - at least you didn't, like, spend time talking to her :lmao:
    They day after a trip I always feel this lingering hangover-effect, like I see the world in a new light; it's actually a very pleasant hangover for a change.
    I'm certainly no authority on this either but I read this article where a buddhist monk agreed to take a hit of LSD to see how it compares to his meditative-induced state of nirvana or satori enlightenment and he said it's the same, but he also said it is inferior because the psychedelic experience is only fleeting, whereas the meditative-induced state can be sustained indefinitely. Some of those monks spend a lifetime mastering their technique. Most people aren't so patient. So, qualitatively the same?
     
  19. shizyninja

    shizyninja Experienced Member Experienced member


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    Shows how ignorant I am. I thought the two were the same thing! Thanks for pointing that out.

    Yeah, man, that creepy dude was not fucking cool. He straight put the fear of god in my heart, ha ha. Great memories man. I almost got to try Peyote in Mexico but my cousins spent all their money at the fucking club. I was so pissed. How can you pass up the ultimate psychedelic experience for dancing with skanky chicks to lame ass music? Not even the Buddha can answer that question.

    I couldn't find articles for the monks on LSD story. I however find a story by Wired Magazine about observing the brainwaves of Buddhist monks. Very interesting stuff indeed! I need to get in on this meditation stuff. http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.02/dalai.html

    [​IMG]
     
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