Jokes

A feminist visits kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is not pleased to find women must walk 5 paces behind the men,A year later she returns and is delighted to find that men must now walk 5 paces behind the women,she asked the interpreter ''what bought about the change''he replied''land mines''!!

 

that pogo n beer mo fo


haha i thought of this joke the other dy in class,....most wont get it but a golden star sticker who does

how many newfees does it take to drive a pile?





none! cuz they keep complaining thier hammer is to small HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AWWWW IM T FUNNY...an one able to get it? its a constrution joke..

 

No golden star for me then !!

 

A couple who live in an old terraced house take on an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.

She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her that, being an old house, it didn't have a bath but she could use the tin bath in front of the fire.

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she
said.. So the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday....

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair, and told her husband when he came home.

He didn't believe her, so she said, "Next week I'll leave a gap in the
curtains so that you can see for yourself.."
The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife
asked, "Do you shave?"

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there.
Do you have pubic hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed off her hairy muff.

When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked,
"Did you see it?"

"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."

"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."

"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!!"

 

HAHAHA SWEET i laughed at that one

 

More light bulbs...

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

 

Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to
spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!



Personally I think its bollocks!!

 

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

New postby window74 on Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:47 pm
A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn.
She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw.

The banged up cheater was terrified, and hollered, "Stop ! Stop ! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said . . . . . .

"Nope....I'm gonna set fire to the Barn!!!"

 

At the cemetary today , i saw 4 guys carrying a coffin round and round and round .
I thought to myself ; They've lost the fuckin plot !

 

My granny was recently beaten to death by my granddad.

Not as in, with a stick...

He just died first

 

If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

 

It was a beautiful sunny day and Superman was out flying when he passed by Wonderwoman's balcony and saw that she was laying there all naked.
He thought to himself that she looks real good, and that he's so fast she wouldn't even notice... Very quickly he flew down and did what he wanted to, and just as quickly he flew away again, very satisfied and pleased with his desicion.
On Wonderwoman's balcony The Invisible man said: Ouch! What was that in my ass?!

 

You know computers are like AC.... they don't work with Windows open

 

Driving to work this morning i saw a RACman sitting in his van crying his eyes out .
i thought , he's heading for a breakdown .

 

Ok, so this pirate walks into a bar
and he's got this big ship steering wheel tucked into the front of his pants
so the bartender sees him and says," hey, you got this big steering wheel in the front of your pants!"
and the pirate says,...
"AARGH!!! I KNOW, IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"